The "During"--Part one

It's been over a month since I've written but my life has been extremely hectic. It's been a very demanding time for Greek life at my school.


I've written a lot about what comes before and after a relationship, but I've realized that I haven't really talked about what to do during the relationship to keep it strong. When I was trying to figure out what I personally do to keep a relationship strong, I could only think of four things. I called H and asked her what she does but she was on the same page. After asking @GreekGent and @TW_Husband, I confirmed the four that I already had and added two that I didn't even think of but think is extremely important. 

Anyways... Here are my Top 3: 
(I have 3 more but I'm going to put that in a different post since these are kind of long and you'll probably get bored... You're welcome.)


1. Be Godly and faithful

I am a firm believer that God needs to have a strong presence in any relationship. My strongest relationships were those that were based around our faith where we were able to talk openly about our beliefs. It's important to remember that God is who brought you two together and He is the one who will help keep you together. I date to marry, and I fully intend on having a very Godly marriage so it's great to go ahead and build that foundation during the dating process. This should be completely obvious but while you're together, be faithful. Cheating is not and will never be okay. All I'm going to say is that if you can't be faithful, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship. 


2. Be patient and understanding and communicate

I, personally, used to think that a guy should automatically know what he did to hurt me. Mistake number one. I'll pull the whole one worded response thing until he asks me what's wrong then I will get upset when  he doesn't realize what he's done wrong. Mistake number two. Over the years and my various relationships, I've learned how clueless guys can be sometimes. They truly don't even realize what they're doing half the time. You have to explain it to them then be patient enough to do it again if they don't understand. If you constantly get worked up, tension is going to build and eventually break your relationship. Yes, I will probably always fall back into my "one worded ways" but I am so much better at making sure my significant other understands my point of view when I am upset. If you feel yourself getting worked up, take a deep breath and try again. This is one of those times where you cannot let your stubbornness get the best of you. You're reading the blog post of a girl who is exactly like her father--as stubborn as can be. But is your pride worth more to you than the love of your life? I would hope not. 


3. A-P-P-R-E-C-I-A-T-E

Y'all, simple gestures are taken for granted so easily. After a while, it's easy to expect him to pay for dinner or open every door for you. Just keep in mind that he doesn't have to do those things but he does them because he loves you. He likes seeing the smile on your face and knowing that he's the reason why it's there. Do little things to show that you really are thankful what he does for you. It can be as simple as making sure you always say thank you, but you can also show it by cooking him dinner, baking him his favorite treat, or sending him a cute text in the middle of the day. Trust me, making him feel appreciated will keep him happy and we want our men to be happy, right? Right. I don't know about you but I love knowing that I'm the reason why my guy smiling. 

Alright, this is the first part of this segment. The rest will be posted later this week! I didn't want to give y'all a HUGE blog because I honestly never read the entire thing when it's super long and I don't expect for y'all to! I promise to get better at keeping the blogs on a regular schedule... after finals. College finals are ROUGH. 

If you haven't followed @GreekGent and @TW_husband, please do. I go to them for a guy's perspective on relationships and they always give me amazing advice. They're actually my really good guy friends. I can truly say that they are both the epitome of true gentlemen--the last few of a dying breed. 

Love, M.

P.S. Don't forget to do more than just tweet #PrayForBoston and actually take the time to pray for those affected. 

Don't be THAT girl

If y'all didn't know, I went on a cruise for spring break. First and foremost, best idea ever. It was so much fun! You should definitely go on one.

While we were on the cruise, my friends and I decided that we wanted to go by different aliases. We had Layla, Libby, Nadia, and Karen. It was actually kind of fun. When we got back from the cruise, I thought about how we changed our names but not where we were from, majors, etc. We all pretty much remained the same. I thought of other girls I had seen on the cruise and wondered if anyone else decided to change their identities, too. Then I thought about how girls change themselves all the time to get the attention of a boy. I remember seeing girls trying SO hard to get other guys' attentions. I saw girls dumbing themselves down to act "cute." How do I know this? I remember having conversations with girls then seeing them turn and talk to guys. They were so incredibly intelligent when talking to me then when they talked to the guys they would pull the "wait...what?" card. That was my cue to bless a heart and walk away.

There are so many stereotypes and standards of how girls and guys should act. It's actually quite obnoxious when I think about it but you should not have to change yourself to impress a guy. If you're like me, you date to marry. This guy is going to learn the real you eventually. You may as well show him who you are and what you're all about before you waste both his and your time. If you're sarcastic, be sarcastic. If you're sassy, be sassy. If you're funny, be funny. The guy that you're supposed to be with is going to love you for everything that you are. You want him to love you, right? The real you? So be the real you. Show him what you have to offer. If you're independent, don't try to change yourself because that is what a woman "should do." Go on with your bad self, girl. You should always strive to be the best person you can be but you shouldn't have change yourself to make a guy like/love you. If you do, he's not falling in love with you. He's falling in love with the person that he THINKS you are, and you can't keep that up forever. I'm sure that would get exhausting.

So ultimately, my message is: embrace you, love you, just be you. You'll find the boy who loves you for everything that you are despite your quirks. You're amazing and wonderful and it's only a matter of time before God sends someone your way who will appreciate you and treat you like the princess that you are.

Love, M.