Monday, May 20, 2013

Learning to love

Soo.. I'm sure that if you have ever been in a relationship, you know that they are not easy. They take a lot of work. But if you find someone that you truly care about and love, you'll understand me when I say that it's all worth it. Since I'm not currently in a relationship right now, let me go back and establish my credibility. I have been dating since I was a teenager--13 to be exact. My longest relationship was three, almost four, years. Yes, I thought I was going to marry that boy. After him, I was I guess you could say... "fishing" for the right catch. I am currently getting to know a certain man and I'm liking the direction that it is going. But point being, trust me... I've had the flings and I've had the serious relationships. I don't know everything but I've learned my fair share.

BUT back to the subject at hand... the trials and tribulations of a relationship. If you claim you have the "perfect" relationship where you both get along great, never fight, and always understand each other, I'm calling B-S. That's not a real relationship. You're SUPPOSED to get on each other's nerves, push each other's buttons, and fight. That's how you learn about the other person's habits and characteristics. You'll learn what he or she does or does not like. Everything is not supposed to be easy. Let me repeat: Everything is not supposed to be easy. 

In order to really get far in your relationship, you're going to need to be patient, understanding, and able to communicated. I said this in my previous blog but it's so true. If y'all are arguing for some reason, try not to get too worked up too quick. I've learned that boys are not the smartest ones when it comes to girls and our emotions. They truly don't understand sometimes. What you need to do is take a deep breath and TRY to get them to understand you but you also have to listen when you want to talk. I've been in various positions where I've just yelled at my ex and it would always end tragically. I didn't understand why he didn't comprehend why I was upset. I thought after years of dating, he should just get me. Also, you can't be scared of telling him how you feel. If he says something that bothers you or hurts your feelings, tell him. If he cares about you, he'll feel sorry and apologize. If you keep that stuff bottled up, there is going to be tension which will lead to fights. He has to learn about you. He has to learn where you stand, which buttons to push, etc. Help him learn. 

Love is a constant battle. First, you have to fight to get that person. After that, you have to fight to keep that person. But throughout this whole thing, y'all might do things that drive each other crazy. But the cool thing is that you'll learn how he really feels about you and if y'all are meant to be or not. A man who truly loves you will do anything to make you happy and you'll do the same. You'll realize that if you truly care about each other then even on the hardest of days you'll refuse to walk away. You'll one day find a guy who can push your buttons, drive you crazy, and make you want to scream but you couldn't imagine living a single day without him by your side. 

Love, M.