Let me ask you a question. How much are you willing to put up with before you have to make the conscious decision to break up with your significant other?
If you didn't know, we get e-mails and Kik messages requesting advice about people's love lives. Here recently, we've gotten a lot about how girls feel like their guy doesn't put in effort or if they should wait on a guy. I wanted to write a blog to respond in case there are others out there who are in the same position. This blog isn't going to necessary be a happy blog about how you'll find the perfect guy. Actually I'm hoping that, for some of you, it will be a reality check.
Everyone knows that relationships are hard work. There is no such thing as a "perfect relationship." Everyone has been in the position where they think that the relationship has become one sided. They feel as though one person is putting in more effort than the other or the relationship is not going anywhere. First and foremost, I think that no relationship ending decision should be made without a serious conversation. If the problem can be fixed, I think that you should definitely give it a shot. There are plenty of couples that slip into a rut after dating for a long time. Just because you're in a rut, it does not mean that the relationship is over. Sit down, talk, and try to work it out. If you're going to try to work on bettering your relationship, you have to give it 150% effort and be extremely patient. It's not going to be fixed overnight.
Let's say that you've had "the talk" multiple times and it seems as though nothing has changed. This is when you should think about whether or not this is a relationship that you should continue. I want to go ahead and say that just because you end a relationship does not mean that you're the bad guy. Sometimes you just need to look out for what is best for you. You should not find yourself more unhappy than you do happy. The point of being in a relationship with someone is to find someone who makes you happy and makes you want to be a better person. On a different note, this may be the shock that he needs to give him a reality check that he may possible really lose you if he doesn't fight for you. If he doesn't fight for you, he's not the one for you.
Breaking up with someone is always scary. Most commonly, you're scared that you will never find another guy who will accept you or love you. I know this is easier said than done but you really have to push through it and not let that affect you because, ultimately, that's just not true. As much as you think that you'll be single forever, I promise that you won't be. You can't let the fear of being alone scare you into staying apart of something that makes you unhappy.
Ultimately, I hope that this blog gives some of you ladies courage to end the relationship that continues to bring you pain and heartbreak. Yes, breaking up with someone sucks. It hurts, you'll cry, but in the end, you're doing what is best for you. It's okay to be selfish. This is one point in your life when you SHOULD be selfish. If you feel like it's worth fighting for, go for it. But if he doesn't fight right along with you to keep the relationship , it's not going to get any better. So at this point, I think you should get off the computer, phone, iPad, whatever and go take a bubble bath. Think about your relationship, which direction it's going in, and if it's truly something that you want to continue fighting for. Do what is best for you. Again, it's okay to be selfish sometimes.
If you need to talk, e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org. I get them straight to my phone and will do whatever I can to help you.
P.S. Click Here and go listen to this song. It's by my sorority sister, Anna, and one of her friends. I'm obsessed.