Soo.. I'm sure that if you have ever been in a relationship, you know that they are not easy. They take a lot of work. But if you find someone that you truly care about and love, you'll understand me when I say that it's all worth it. Since I'm not currently in a relationship right now, let me go back and establish my credibility. I have been dating since I was a teenager--13 to be exact. My longest relationship was three, almost four, years. Yes, I thought I was going to marry that boy. After him, I was I guess you could say... "fishing" for the right catch. I am currently getting to know a certain man and I'm liking the direction that it is going. But point being, trust me... I've had the flings and I've had the serious relationships. I don't know everything but I've learned my fair share.
BUT back to the subject at hand... the trials and tribulations of a relationship. If you claim you have the "perfect" relationship where you both get along great, never fight, and always understand each other, I'm calling B-S. That's not a real relationship. You're SUPPOSED to get on each other's nerves, push each other's buttons, and fight. That's how you learn about the other person's habits and characteristics. You'll learn what he or she does or does not like. Everything is not supposed to be easy. Let me repeat: Everything is not supposed to be easy.
In order to really get far in your relationship, you're going to need to be patient, understanding, and able to communicated. I said this in my previous blog but it's so true. If y'all are arguing for some reason, try not to get too worked up too quick. I've learned that boys are not the smartest ones when it comes to girls and our emotions. They truly don't understand sometimes. What you need to do is take a deep breath and TRY to get them to understand you but you also have to listen when you want to talk. I've been in various positions where I've just yelled at my ex and it would always end tragically. I didn't understand why he didn't comprehend why I was upset. I thought after years of dating, he should just get me. Also, you can't be scared of telling him how you feel. If he says something that bothers you or hurts your feelings, tell him. If he cares about you, he'll feel sorry and apologize. If you keep that stuff bottled up, there is going to be tension which will lead to fights. He has to learn about you. He has to learn where you stand, which buttons to push, etc. Help him learn.
Love is a constant battle. First, you have to fight to get that person. After that, you have to fight to keep that person. But throughout this whole thing, y'all might do things that drive each other crazy. But the cool thing is that you'll learn how he really feels about you and if y'all are meant to be or not. A man who truly loves you will do anything to make you happy and you'll do the same. You'll realize that if you truly care about each other then even on the hardest of days you'll refuse to walk away. You'll one day find a guy who can push your buttons, drive you crazy, and make you want to scream but you couldn't imagine living a single day without him by your side.
Love, M.
It's been over a month since I've written but my life has been extremely hectic. It's been a very demanding time for Greek life at my school.
I've written a lot about what comes before and after a relationship, but I've realized that I haven't really talked about what to do during the relationship to keep it strong. When I was trying to figure out what I personally do to keep a relationship strong, I could only think of four things. I called H and asked her what she does but she was on the same page. After asking @GreekGent and @TW_Husband, I confirmed the four that I already had and added two that I didn't even think of but think is extremely important.
Anyways... Here are my Top 3:
(I have 3 more but I'm going to put that in a different post since these are kind of long and you'll probably get bored... You're welcome.)
1. Be Godly and faithful
I am a firm believer that God needs to have a strong presence in any relationship. My strongest relationships were those that were based around our faith where we were able to talk openly about our beliefs. It's important to remember that God is who brought you two together and He is the one who will help keep you together. I date to marry, and I fully intend on having a very Godly marriage so it's great to go ahead and build that foundation during the dating process. This should be completely obvious but while you're together, be faithful. Cheating is not and will never be okay. All I'm going to say is that if you can't be faithful, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship.
2. Be patient and understanding and communicate
I, personally, used to think that a guy should automatically know what he did to hurt me. Mistake number one. I'll pull the whole one worded response thing until he asks me what's wrong then I will get upset when he doesn't realize what he's done wrong. Mistake number two. Over the years and my various relationships, I've learned how clueless guys can be sometimes. They truly don't even realize what they're doing half the time. You have to explain it to them then be patient enough to do it again if they don't understand. If you constantly get worked up, tension is going to build and eventually break your relationship. Yes, I will probably always fall back into my "one worded ways" but I am so much better at making sure my significant other understands my point of view when I am upset. If you feel yourself getting worked up, take a deep breath and try again. This is one of those times where you cannot let your stubbornness get the best of you. You're reading the blog post of a girl who is exactly like her father--as stubborn as can be. But is your pride worth more to you than the love of your life? I would hope not.
3. A-P-P-R-E-C-I-A-T-E
Y'all, simple gestures are taken for granted so easily. After a while, it's easy to expect him to pay for dinner or open every door for you. Just keep in mind that he doesn't have to do those things but he does them because he loves you. He likes seeing the smile on your face and knowing that he's the reason why it's there. Do little things to show that you really are thankful what he does for you. It can be as simple as making sure you always say thank you, but you can also show it by cooking him dinner, baking him his favorite treat, or sending him a cute text in the middle of the day. Trust me, making him feel appreciated will keep him happy and we want our men to be happy, right? Right. I don't know about you but I love knowing that I'm the reason why my guy smiling.
Alright, this is the first part of this segment. The rest will be posted later this week! I didn't want to give y'all a HUGE blog because I honestly never read the entire thing when it's super long and I don't expect for y'all to! I promise to get better at keeping the blogs on a regular schedule... after finals. College finals are ROUGH.
If you haven't followed @GreekGent and @TW_husband, please do. I go to them for a guy's perspective on relationships and they always give me amazing advice. They're actually my really good guy friends. I can truly say that they are both the epitome of true gentlemen--the last few of a dying breed.
Love, M.
P.S. Don't forget to do more than just tweet #PrayForBoston and actually take the time to pray for those affected.
