A Different Perspective

I've literally been sitting here staring at this page wondering how to start this, and as you can tell obviously this is the best I could come up with. I'm not particularly good at this, I don't write, especially not blogs. M is usually the one who does all of the blogposts, but for some reason I just felt as if I needed to write this. I'm hoping that y'all aren't too harsh, and too critical. Everything we write to y'all about our lives is true and we take a huge risk posting this. So, here goes nothing. 

This post is going to seem very similar to the one that M just posted, but I felt that another perspective should be given. 

I'm a junior in college. I don't go to a very large school, in fact it's a private school that doesn't even offer Greek life. Seeing that we don't have Greek life, majority of our campus is run by athletes, in fact that's the reason I chose this school, but that's a different story. Since we don't have Greek life here, we party a little differently. The school is located close to a rather large SEC school, so many of weekends are spent downtown at the bars. M was very open about her past so I might as well be too. My freshman and some of my sophomore year were a hot mess to say the least. And now as I look back, a good majority I don't remember. Until one day my mother found out about what I was doing. It shattered our relationship and took a very long time to repair. I didn't realize how my actions looked to others. Actually I didn't realize how it looked until very recently. Judgement is something we face everyday, it's inevitable. And as much as we say that we shouldn't care what people think about us, others opinions are important. It's also inevitable. 

My roommate is a senior basketball player, and a very active partier. Now here's the part where you need a little background information about me; I'm a pushover. I can't say no, and people walk all over me all the time. It's something I know about myself, and something I try to work on but it's hard. So this last semester I spent a lot of time downtown at the bars, with all the people and all the alcohol. Did I occasionally have a drink? Yes. Did I flirt with the cute guy standing at the bar? Yes. But I also got to see the way the guy looked at me, and the way he spoke to me, and the way he implied things that were never in a million years going to happen. I'm not that girl, and you're not that lucky. But I learned a lot about myself from being in those bars and seeing how guys interacted with me. What I also learned is what it is like to witness those girls who don't remember the night from the other side. 

M wrote last week about being the person he would want. Don't just uphold standards for your future husband, but also uphold standards for yourself and what your future husband needs. I feel like I'm just rambling so now here's what I wanted to write about. Sit down and look at how others view you. Those guys were flirting with me in the bar hoping that I would be too drunk to notice what was happening, and end up going home with them. They think this way because of people like my roommate, and a few of my friends. 

Monday I was sitting in class when a classmate of mine came in and proceeded to tell me about her weekend. Friday night at a party she was "on a whole other level". She ended up making out with 4 guys just while she was at the party, one of which she still doesn't know his name. And at the end of the night she ended up going back with a guy who is her lab partner in physics. They hooked up, and the next day when she woke up she couldn't get out fast enough. They hadn't seen each other again until yesterday when she had lab and I'm not sure how that went. All I could think about during this conversation was wow. Just wow. One day you have to tell your husband about the night in college that you ended up making out with 4 guys and going home with another. Granted in today's society he will probably be telling you about his wild nights too, but that's beside the point. I know personally that I don't want all of those stories to have to be told by me. My roommate goes downtown basically every weekend and its a different story every time she comes back, and she wonders why people text her all the time about the stuff they've heard about her, or why she can't find a guy to date and have one relationship.

These girls go around bragging about this. In fact the classmate said one of her guy friends gave her a high five after hearing about her night. College is the best four years of your life, but it can also later in life be the four years you regret for the decisions you made. I've already started to regret some of them. It's possible to go out in college and enjoy yourself and have a ton of fun, and not have to worry about the way that people view you. 

 I'm not saying that every now and then I don't have a drink, or that I don't go out. Because I do. But I would much rather stay at home with boyf having some wine and watching a movie and cuddling. People talk, people judge. It's a part of life. All I'm trying to say is do you want to be that girl that everyone talks about being the school sloot, or do you want to be a woman who can hold her head high and be proud of the choices she makes.

Love H

Also, please don't judge me for how terribly written this is! I'm a chemistry major, not a writer. :)